How is this book i am writing? Plz tell me!?

im writing this book is it good?

Chapter 1-

I acted like I didn鈥檛 know the strange and unusual man, but I did. I had known him from my dreams, my nightmares, but not real life. I had been searching for him for 3 decades, and now I have found him. I was in the grocery store picking out some oranges for my 4 year old daughter, Kendra at home. That was her favorite fruit so I had to buy a lot of them. But there is where I noticed him. He was grabbing a plastic bag out of the steel bin, and he looked so familiar from they eyes and they shape of the eyebrows. They looked triangular in a way. His eyes looked Chinese, but he wasn鈥檛 Chinese at all. I kept acting like he was a stranger to me and I had never seen him in my life. But they whole thing bothered me. So I had to do something about it. So I painfully bumped into him. I didn鈥檛 mean to do it painfully, but I did mean to bump him.

鈥淓xcuse me?鈥?the man glared at me.

鈥淥h I鈥檓 so sorry鈥? I said acting like the whole thing was an accident.

鈥淲as it my fault?鈥?he had a quiet English accent.

鈥淣o it was all mine, I am sorry again, but by the way are you from England?鈥?I asked him. It was a stupid question but I just had to find some stuff out about this strange man I had seen before.

鈥淵es, I currently live there鈥? he said brushing some dust off his shirt and pants.

鈥淚 am just here trying to visit this one girl鈥? he said with his English voice getting higher.

鈥淥h, your girlfriend?鈥?I asked him. He looked like he was in his low 30鈥檚. But he would have said 鈥渕y wife鈥?if he was married.

鈥淣o I haven鈥檛 met her yet!鈥?I looked at him differently. I squinted then rethought this thing over again.

鈥淲hat if he is looking for me!鈥?I asked my self.

鈥淚t鈥檚 confusing, I know. But she is in my dreams. And it is always placed here, in Lawton, Oklahoma鈥? he told me. And I immediately dropped the bag of oranges.

鈥淭hat is exactly where my dream is placed鈥? I thought to myself. This is him for sure.

鈥淎nd she looks familiar to you鈥? he told me. He started observing me and getting closer. I stepped back 1 step. I was starting to freak out.

鈥淎re you okay?鈥?he asked me. I know I didn鈥檛 seem okay but I was.

鈥淵es, but I have to tell you something鈥? I answered his question pretty quickly.

鈥淲hat is it?鈥?he looked deep into my big brown eyes. He had light green eyes that shined so bright.

鈥淢y dreams sound just like yours, but I am here looking for a man. And he happens to look exactly like you鈥? I said quietly.

鈥淲e have to meet up some time鈥? the man told me. I nodded then we shook hands.

鈥淚鈥檓 Elizabeth Renner, but you can call me Eliza鈥? I told him. He smiled and his mouth came open. His teeth were as white as snow.

鈥淎nd I am Holland Hernie, and you can just call me Holland鈥? He laughed then let go of my hand.

鈥淲e can meet up at my place tomorrow afternoon if you鈥檇 like鈥? I told him. It felt weird just letting a stranger be welcomed into my home, but he didn鈥檛 seem like a stranger to me. It felt like we had been friends since the sixth grade.

鈥淪ure, I will need your address though鈥? he said and chuckled once more.

鈥淵eah, I live in a hotel right now with my daughter is that alright? She is four years old and deffinately a well mannered sweet heart鈥? I told him. Trying to convince him my daughter was not a devil of any kind.

鈥淵es that is splendid鈥?

鈥淥kay. Well my room number is 133. It is on the third floor and on the left side of the hallway. It has a kitty door hanger on it, that says 鈥淲ELCOME鈥?.

鈥淥kay, sounds good! Around 2:00 ish then?鈥?he asked me. I nodded then we shook hands again. He looked like a nice man. He looked like he could be anyone鈥檚 friend.

Once he left the grocery store and I got in the long waiting lines, I had a tickly feeling inside me. It felt like I had met my true love. But first, before I went that far I had to know stuff about this man. That is why we are having to discuss it. I don鈥檛 know why we are doing it at my house though. I guess he just has never really been invited anywhere. And well, he also lives in England. About an hour later I was in the hotel with Kendra.

鈥淲hen are we going home mommy鈥? Kendra asked. She was in the middle of peeling her apple.

鈥淚s this going to be our home for a while?鈥?Kendra asked me. She had a shine in her eyes that looked worried.

鈥淭his might be where we are staying for a few months鈥? I told her. Kendra was used to moving because we had been moving for most of her life. I have always been determined to find this guy. So we just kept visiting all of these places. These are the places we have lived: Vermont, Washington, Delaware, California, Georgia, Florida, Ohio, Ireland, France, Maine, New York, and New Mexico. Kendra was always worried we would actually stay in one place. I really don鈥檛 think she liked the fact of just staying in one habitat for more than a year. I knew she was going to be home schooled since she was born. Home schooling is hopefully going to start in 1 or 2 years for Kendra.

鈥淥h!鈥?Kendra replied. Then went on the bed that sat in the middle of the living room and started watching TV.

鈥淥h and Kendra hunny!鈥?I yelled.

鈥淵es?鈥?

鈥淭here is a man coming over tomorrow he is going to help me鈥? I told her. She looked at my in a curious way.

鈥淲hat鈥檚 his name?鈥?

鈥淢r. Hernie鈥?

鈥淥h, fine with me鈥? she said then got back to her TV show. I looked at my poor daughter. I didn鈥檛 know if she would ever trust me or even if she trusted me at the moment. I had lied to her a bunch over the past years. I would say, 鈥淵ou will make a friend鈥? But she would never get to just because we moved so much.

鈥淪o your okay with that?鈥?I asked her.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 want you to uncomfortable鈥?

鈥淚 like meeting new people鈥? Kendra said to me.

鈥淚n fact, I met someone knew today and she is going to come over tomorrow too!鈥?She told me. I looked at her strangely and raised my one eyebrow.

鈥淥h sweetie, that鈥檚 good! Whats her name?鈥?I asked.

鈥淐amille鈥?

鈥淐amille?鈥?I asked, I was confused, I didn鈥檛 know where Kendra had met this little friend at. She had been home alone for only 1 hour. And I had though she had just been sitting around, being lazy like normal kids her age do.

鈥淵es, is that a problem mommy?鈥?

鈥淣o, not a problem at all! But where did you meet her darling?鈥?

鈥淗aven鈥檛 you been home alone?鈥?br> 鈥淵es. She came through the window鈥? Kendra was acting normal, like just popping through a window wasn鈥檛 weird?

鈥淥h, sweetie! Weren鈥檛 you afraid?鈥?I asked her. She looked at me strange. It looked like she thought every kid could just climb through a window and meet a best friend.

鈥淢ommy, she is nice. But she is lonely and sad! And she also needs a friend like me!鈥?Kendra鈥檚 voice sounded all joyful, like she couldn鈥檛 complain about this one girl.

鈥淥kay, but where鈥檚 her mommy?鈥?

鈥淪he killed her, it was an accident though!鈥?Kendra told me with a straight face. I dropped what I was once holding and looked at her with my mouth wide open.

鈥淜endra, you cant see this girl every again!鈥?I told my baby. I didn鈥檛 want her hanging out with a kid that has murdered her mother. That was insane.

鈥淭hen you cant hang out with your boyfriend鈥? Kendra acted like she was now the mother of me!

鈥淗e is not my boyfriend Kendra, and I will not let you be the boss of me!鈥?I screeched.

鈥淢ommy, your being mean鈥? Kendra put her sad face on and crawled onto the couch with her back slumped and her face looking at the ground.

鈥淜endra, don鈥檛 try that on me, I am mad!鈥?I tried to be strong with this whole parenting thing, I was just not used to it.

鈥淢ommy!鈥?she whimpered.

鈥淥h come on over here Kendra!鈥?I told her, her face grew into a big smile. She came over and hugged me.

鈥淪o I can talk to Camille still?鈥?she asked me. Now that right there is what I had to put my foot down at.

鈥淣o Kendra, never again!鈥?and what she did next, I would have never predicted! She pinched my leg as hard as she could then skipped into her room, and slammed the door.

I could feel my legs pain. It was like getting stabbed, I didn鈥檛 realize a four year old was that good at pinching.

鈥淒on鈥檛 slam your door young lady!鈥?I yelled to her.

鈥淏lah, blah, blah!鈥?she told me. I limped to her bedroom door that she currently had. And it was locked.

鈥淥pen this door now, Kendra Anne Renner!鈥?I only used her full name when I was really mad at her, and she knew that.

鈥淣o Elizabeth! I will not listen to you鈥? she replied in a screaming matter. All I heard was her calling me by my first name. I had told her this year that she could NEVER call me by my first name, it was always going to be mommy, mom, or mother. NEVER Elizabeth.

鈥淕et your butt out here right now young lady!鈥?I told her. I was furious. I was about to knock down the hotels door. But I knew I couldn鈥檛, and then I would have loads of money that I would owe them.

鈥淒on鈥檛 you talk to me in that tone鈥? her voice got lower and I started to get scared.

鈥淜endra Anne!!!鈥?br> 鈥淓lizabeth Theodora鈥? she replied. I hated my middle name, and she also knew that. I didn鈥檛 know what she was thinking, suddenly I forgot about meeting Mr. Hernie the next day. I forgot about the whole dream thing. All of my concentration was set on my daughter.

鈥淜endra hunny, Im not mad!鈥?I said to her trying to calm down, I thought that she would come out of the room if she thought I wasn鈥檛 angry at her.

鈥淣o Mommy, you aren鈥檛 a good mommy. You lie!鈥?Kendra told me. I looked surprised

鈥淚 have never lied to you鈥? now that was an added lie to my pile of lies. Because I have lied to Kendra a couple times, but she knew I had felt bad about every mistake I have made with her.

鈥淵es you have, now you are lying again鈥?

I shook my head, because it was true, she was right. She couldn鈥檛 see me shake my head anyways! She was on the other side of the door. But then something funny happened. I heard her talking to some little girl, it was spooky.

鈥淜endra?鈥?I asked I didn鈥檛 want that little girl to hurt her, what if it was Camille.

鈥淚ts just my stupid mother, she is always up to some lying scam鈥? I hear Kendra say to the little girl.

鈥淵eah, right when I saw your mom in the grocery store, I knew my father had made her!鈥?I didn鈥檛 know who had said that sentence; it for sure wasn鈥檛 Kendra though. It was more in an Italian accent.

鈥淗a! Yeah, who鈥檚 your father? I bet he is great!鈥?I heard Kendra say all cheerfully.

鈥淎 one of the devil鈥檚 demons!鈥?the Italian accent spoke. My eyes grew wide, I had to keep listening. I could barely speak.

鈥淎re you kidding me鈥? I whispered softly. No one but myself could hear me.

鈥淚 love the devil, I bet I would love his demon鈥檚 too. Camille? Are they nice?鈥?Kendra said in a snotty tone.

鈥淣o! Not at all, that is the great part about them! They try to kill all day long, its hilarious! My Uncle Mardi, he is one of the demons and he comes up with the funniest ways to kill people!鈥?I heard them laughing! I couldn鈥檛 believe my own little Kendra was laughing at such a terrible thing.

鈥淨uit, let me in Kendra!!!鈥?I wailed with despair.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 her again, being her numskull self鈥?

鈥淵es, your right!鈥?Kendra agreed with Camille. I couldn鈥檛 believe it. It was outragisly freaky.

鈥淟et me in!鈥?I was banging on the door like a thief would do to get into a room full of money.

鈥淣o way!鈥?I heard Camille say.

鈥淟ets shave her in her sleep鈥? Once I heard that sentence, I fell to the floor. I felt like I could just shoot myself, because it didn鈥檛 come out of Camille鈥檚 mouth. It came out of Kendra鈥檚.

Just think, my own four year old daughter wanted to shave my head while I was sleeping. How else could I handle the situation.

I was shaking like a Chihuahua, I could barely pick up my cell phone. But I finally got a hold of it. I dialed 911.

I really did know who else to call.

鈥淗ello, you are speaking to Tamara Morre, how may I help you?鈥?the girl spoke through the phone.

鈥淢y daughter she wants to kill me. And she is planning how to kill me right now with her friend!鈥?I had a crying voice.

鈥淢a鈥檓 you are going to have to hold on for a few minutes, the police will be there in a minute! We have your address down鈥? After the woman said that she hung up. I was so jumpy and nervous; I didn鈥檛 know what to do next. I really wanted to keep Kendra safe and get her out of the room but before I even knew it she had already came out of her room. It was just her; I saw her head and her fist only. Right before that little fist met with my face and especially my nose I heard 鈥淢ommy, you are going to be dead my next month, this is just the start鈥? I was in a concussion for about 4 or 5 days. The next morning was a Friday. The doctor was in the room with me. I saw flowers on the dresser that lay beside the hospital bed. The floor looked much cleaned up, like someone was expecting a visitor in the room. The tile was very plain, just plain white with brownish pebbles in it.

鈥淲hy am I here?鈥?I asked the doctor. He looked at me with a frown on his Asian face.

鈥淎 little girl called me and said that an old man that was African American came into the house unexpectedly and punched you right in the face.

I looked at him strange because, I for some reason thought it was my own daughter, so I decided to speak up a bit.

鈥淣o, you are so mistaken! It was my daughter! About 3 minutes before this happened, I called the police on her and her friend鈥? I told the doctor. I didn鈥檛 think he would understand me, and I was right.

鈥淲hy would you call the police on your daughter and her friend?鈥?he asked me. I didn鈥檛 feel like answering so I picked up my arm and lied it on my forehead.

鈥渋ts alright鈥? He patted my hand and looked at me, then winked.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 expect you to know everything鈥? he said. I looked at him funny.

鈥淏ut I do know everything鈥? I thought.

鈥淚 have no brain injuries for sure鈥?

I didn鈥檛 say those two sentences out loud, but I for sure thought them. Once the doctor walked out I noticed this guy walking into the room. He had a cane in his left hand, it looked like a very expensive cane too. He was limping and he looked pretty familiar.

鈥淗ello Eliza鈥? he said. I started to recognize his voice also.

鈥淚 met you in the supermarket!鈥?he told me. Then I figured out who he was.

鈥淥h Mr. Hernie鈥? I said.

鈥淐all me Holland remember鈥? he asked me as he grabbed a chair and sat down.

鈥淥h, right鈥?

鈥淪o, I don鈥檛 remember you with a cane!鈥?I told him.

鈥淥h yeah, I had never rode a bike before, so I tried to and well, I crashed into a tree鈥? he blushed.

鈥淥h鈥? I was laughing. I couldn鈥檛 help to laugh. It was funny that he was trying to ride a bike at his age, I had ridden bikes most of my life.

鈥淏ut why are you in here?鈥?He asked.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 the most important thing!鈥?br> 鈥淜endra, she, she-鈥? I barely could speak. I had so much stuff to say to the man.

鈥淪he went mad?鈥?he asked me. He got a hold of my hand and was rubbing it gently, it felt rather good.

鈥淗ow do you know?鈥?I asked him.

鈥淚 had another dream鈥?

鈥淚t was of Kendra, she has a friend named Camille, and Camille is the devil鈥檚 child. Her last name is Devil too. But it is spelled a little different so nobody can get suspicious鈥? I looked at Holland in a weird way.

鈥淗ow鈥檚 it spelled鈥? I asked quietly.

鈥淒.E.V.I.L.L.E鈥?he spelled it out for me.

One of my eyebrows went up and the other was all the way down, almost on top of my left eye.

鈥淲ow, this all happened in your dream?鈥?br> 鈥淵es, and theres more鈥? he replied in a merry voice. I didn鈥檛 know why he was so boisterous. Maybe he was just so happy to find someone who he could share all of this with.

鈥淪he hit you, hard鈥? he said sadly.

鈥淪he punched you so quick you didn鈥檛 even know it, you just fell right to the floor for a second time in a row鈥?

He was right, right about all of it. It was like, like, like he was a physic.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e a physic!鈥?I sharply spoke.

鈥淣o, my dreams just come true, just like yours!鈥?he told me.

鈥淪o you are like the narrator of my life?鈥?I asked him.

鈥淵es, exactly鈥?

鈥淎nd you the narrator of mine鈥? he told me.

鈥淪o your little boy, he did die, at the age of 13?鈥?I asked him.

鈥淵es. Then my mother-鈥?he started to talk about his life but I stopped him.

鈥淵our mother, she died because the heart surgeon didn鈥檛 pay attention when he was doing surgery on her鈥? I told him. He started to get tears in his eyes. I forgot I was in the hospital. But we really did need to talk.

鈥淵es, and sorry to tell you, but you鈥檙e the one-鈥? I stopped him for the second time.

鈥淲ho made your life so miserable鈥? I finished his sentence. He nodded.

鈥淏ut you have made my life miserable too鈥? I told him.

鈥淣ow look at me鈥?

He looked to the ground.

鈥淲e both need to quit having such dreams鈥? he said.

鈥淗ow, we can鈥檛 NOT sleep鈥? I told him.

鈥淎nd loads of people say you have at least one dream each night鈥? I said. This was a pretty depressing situation.

鈥淲e cant鈥? he told me. I didn鈥檛 know what he meant.

鈥淲e cant sleep鈥? I looked at him in astonishment.

鈥淣o, I have to sleep! You have to sleep鈥? I told him as if he was in about 2nd or 3rd grade.

鈥淲e have to, or our lives will get more screwed up鈥? he told me. I stared at him in confusion.

鈥淣o, I鈥檓 not doing it! I don鈥檛 care if I screw up your life anymore! It is not screwing up any of my life鈥? I told him, and I turned my back away from him and looked out the window of the hospital. I saw a school-yard. I saw kids riding their bikes up and down the hills. The school bell had just rung. My face was all pale. I couldn鈥檛 believe what was happening to my life. I had finally found the guy I had been looking for, and now I was scolding him. What kind of person was I? then I heard a chair get pushed back and a door open. I turned around.

鈥淲ait!鈥?I said. He looked back at me like I was some psycho.

鈥淲hat? Are you going to scream at me, or be an adult and talk about this messed up situation we BOTH have鈥? he sound so manly. I couldn鈥檛 turn him down.

鈥淛ust sit down!鈥?I told him. He closed the door and walked toward the chair once more. He pulled it out and turned it around, then sat on it backwards. I always hated when guys did that, especially older men.

鈥淭alk!鈥?he said. I looked at him with a worried frown.

鈥淚鈥檓 sorry for what I just said, but if we AREN鈥橳 going to sleep, we have to stick together鈥? I for sure meant what I said. We couldn鈥檛 full around one bit.

鈥淵es, your right鈥?

鈥淎nd, and-鈥?br> 鈥淲e have to stay together 24/7鈥? he replied.

鈥淎lso, we can鈥檛 full around! No junk like 鈥淚 will be back in a second!鈥?we can鈥檛 do that!!!!!鈥?I strictly told him.

He nodded.

Chapter 2-

鈥淟ook at those kids鈥? he told me. I turned around and looked out the window again.

鈥淭hey look so happy鈥? I said loudly. I sounded like I had a cold.

鈥淵eah鈥? he agreed. His face turned to a long, stretchy smile.

鈥淗ah鈥? he laughed.

鈥淭hey look like they are having bunches of fun!鈥?br> 鈥淎nd we need to do that too!鈥?he demanded.

鈥淵our not sick, you have no brain damage! So lets go have fun!鈥?

鈥淣o! They didn鈥檛 say I am aloud out!鈥? I told him.

鈥淲e can sneak out! Just like when we were teenagers!鈥?he said. I looked at him like he was crazy. Because when I was a teenager, I was stuck in my room studying all night long, not sneaking out.

鈥淲hat? I stuck in my room for my teenage life鈥? I told him.

He awakened my hand, and shook it until I figured out I was forced to get up. I got up and felt a little dizzy but I knew I was fine.

鈥淥ne question!鈥?I said.

鈥淗ow are we going to sneak out?鈥?br> 鈥淭hat鈥檚 easy!鈥?

He was holding my hand very tight. He looked a bit worried.

鈥淲hat I do, is what you are going to do鈥? he let go of my hand and opened the window.

鈥渉ave you ever walked on a roof?鈥?He asked me. I shook my head.

鈥淕ood gracious Elizabeth!鈥?

When he said that, he sounded like my mother when she got very tense with me. I rolled my eyes.

鈥淲ell this is going to be a first鈥? he said to me. I rolled my eyes once more. He climbed out of the window.

鈥淣ow you do it鈥?

鈥淣o, it looks hard!鈥?I told him. It looked like I could fall right off, and I knew I could.

鈥淵ou have too!鈥?he said. After he said that about 20 seconds later I heard the door creaking.

鈥淗ello, Miss. Renner?鈥?I heard a woman鈥檚 voice say. At that moment I knew I had to hurry up.

鈥淐ome on鈥? Holland whispered. I jumped right out of the window. And slammed the window shut, and then locked it. Through the window I saw the woman. She looked very surprised and anxious. I believe she was the cleaning lady.

鈥淣ow lets jump!鈥?he said.

鈥淛ump?鈥?I said apprehensively.

鈥淵es, on the count of three!鈥?br> He was sweating also. I grabbed his hand and held it so tight I could barely feel anything.

鈥淥ne鈥?

鈥淭wo鈥?

鈥淭hree鈥?

鈥淛ump!鈥?br> We both leaped off of the hospital building. I felt like we were in slow motion in the air. Finally we landed.

鈥淥h my鈥? I said as we hit the grass.

鈥淟uckily we didn鈥檛 hit the sidewalk!鈥?he said. I put my hand gladly on my forehead and then swept it off.

鈥淵eah鈥? I said out of breath. I could barely breathe.

鈥淲ow!鈥?I was on my hands and knees, kind of like a dog. I was also panting. But I was laughing too.

We got up gracefully, but then I remembered about Kendra.

鈥淜endra鈥? I said loudly.

鈥淚 need to find her!!鈥?I grabbed his left hand and started running.

鈥淲ish we could fly!鈥?he said.

鈥淏ecause you are running so fast, you are like dragging me!鈥?br> 鈥淪orry, I just want my daughter!鈥?br> 鈥淚 thought she was evil鈥? he said. I stopped right when he said that.

鈥淪he is only evil when she is with Camille鈥? I told him.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 think so鈥? he said to me.

鈥淲ell I do!鈥?I told him. We started to run again.

鈥淲here are we going?鈥?br> 鈥淭o my current apartment!鈥?I told him.

About 30 minutes later we were there at the apartment, we were running up the stairs. I didn鈥檛 know why the room I picked had to be so high, even though I was clearly in love with the view.

Once we got to the door I reached into my coat pocket to get the key.

鈥淲here, where is it?鈥?I was talking to myself.

鈥淲here is what?鈥?Holland asked.

鈥淭he key鈥? I frantically answered.

鈥淥h no Eliza!鈥?

鈥淵es! I don鈥檛 know where it is! I have had it in this exact coat pocket the whole day鈥?

鈥淲hat about when we jumped from the hospital roof?鈥?he asked. I looked at the ground in embarrassment.

鈥淥h my!鈥?

鈥淚t must have fell out!鈥?I told him. I started to get startled.

鈥淥h my world, Elizabeth!!鈥?he yelled at me. But then I suddenly heard whispering coming from inside the room. It sounded like about 4 or 5 little kids about Kendra鈥檚 age were have a pretty down right serious conversation.

鈥淪hhh, listen鈥? I told him. I was speaking like a mouse, so quiet and still.

鈥淲hat, I don鈥檛 hear anything?鈥?he whispered. I put my hand over his moth and we both put our ears against the door.

He nodded and looked a little frightened. I took my hand off of his mouth, and then laid it down beside my hip.

鈥淥h my!鈥?he said in his English accent. In my head I was thinking how cute he was when he spoke. His English tone was just amazingly sweet sounding, I couldn鈥檛 believe it.

But it was only a few seconds before I got back to imagining Kendra in there with Camille, and Camille鈥檚 devil friends. I kept asking myself the same questions over and over again-

鈥淚s Kendra even in there?鈥?br> 鈥淚s Kendra with Camille or other devil kids?鈥?

鈥淚s Kendra ever going to be normal again?鈥?br> 鈥淥r is Kendra in there with some little girl I have never met before, and this little girl might just be nice, and not a devil鈥?

Then I started to remember what Camille looked like. Because the only time I had seen her was right before I got knocked out, and that wasn鈥檛 for that long either.

鈥淚s Kendra in there?鈥?Holland asked me. I shrugged my shoulders and pressed my ear against the door a little bit harder, and Holland did the same.

鈥淧ixie!鈥?I heard a squeaky voice say on the other side of the door. I think Holland also heard because he looked right at me when the voice said it.

鈥淧ixie do you hear something?鈥?br> 鈥淚s it coming from the other side of the door?鈥?br> I took a deep breath and stepped away to the door.

鈥淲hat are you doing?鈥?he whispered.

鈥淒idn鈥檛 you just hear what they said?鈥?br> 鈥淵eah but we have to hear more鈥? Holland spoke. I looked at him in an insane way.

鈥淎re you psycho?鈥?I asked him with my eyes bulging out.

鈥淣o, I鈥檓 not!鈥?Holland accidentally screamed. Right then and there I knew we had to run.

鈥淩un鈥? I yelled out to Holland. It didn鈥檛 matter if we screamed now because the kids in the hotel room and already heard us and were for sure going to come after us. As I was running I looked back behind me and there was Holland, it looked like he was running for his life.

Right behind him was a blonde haired girl that looked nothing like Camille. She had redish toned eyes, but had light, pale skin. Her eyes were smaller than Camille鈥檚, as I remembered.

鈥淧ixie keep going!鈥?I heard my daughters voice say. I knew I had to keep looking ahead though. There were so much turns I had to make now, I couldn鈥檛 look back.

鈥淜eep going Holland!鈥?I yelled to him.

鈥淚鈥檓 trying! I have asthma! You gave it to me鈥? he told me. And yes, it was true. In one of my dreams, he was running and he had a terrible asthma attack.

鈥淥h, I鈥檓 sorry!鈥?br> I really did feel bad for the guy! I always did have such terrible dreams. They even made me frightened, and to have them happen to you the next day, well that would be so horrible.

鈥淜eep running though!鈥?I told him. Then I heard Camille鈥檚 voice in the background.

鈥淲e will hang you and hurt you till you can鈥檛 breathe!鈥?she said in an evil tone.

I started to cry a little. Then I got choked up.

鈥淪top!鈥?I stopped in the middle of the hall way, as Holland kept on going I stopped him.

鈥淲hat are we doing?鈥?he whispered.

鈥淚f my daughter wants to kill me, then let her. I don鈥檛 want to live with knowing that my daughter is thinking of all the terrible ways of killing me, then no, I don鈥檛 want to live!鈥?I told him. He looked at me with his eyes wide open, I don鈥檛 think he knew what to do.

鈥淵ou go on, if you don鈥檛 want to die. Leave me here, I will be alright no matter what鈥? my eyes got teary and red and I let go of him.

鈥淚ts your choice!鈥?br> 鈥淲ell if you die, who will narrate my life?鈥?he asked.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 know鈥?

鈥淭hen I am going with you!鈥?he said. I was going to look back in front of me to see what Kendra, Pixie, and Camille were doing but once I heard what Holland had said, I looked back behind me.

鈥淵es, or do you-鈥?then Kendra and her friends interrupted. i turned around to face Kendra, Camille, and Pixie.

鈥淎re you done having your girl talk with him Elizabeth, and are you now ready to die!鈥?Camille pulled out a knife from her pocket.

鈥淕o ahead! Kill me Camille, and your friends can help you too!鈥?I said In a brat tone. I spread my arms wide open like a cross.

鈥淣ow come over here and stab me!鈥?I told them.

Surprisingly Holland stepped away.

鈥淚 thought you were doing-鈥?br> Before I could finish, someone had already stabbed me in my leg. I fell to the ground holding my thigh.

鈥淥h my, oh my gosh!鈥?I said.

鈥淗a-ha! Look what I did! I stabbed my mother!鈥?Kendra looked at me with her eyebrows high and her big white smile. She was holding the bloody knife in her right hand.

鈥淜endra, don鈥檛! You love me remember!?鈥?I asked her. My poor daughter, she was a slaughter, a killer, a murderer.

鈥淟ove you?鈥?she laughed.

鈥淚 have never loved you before, you liar mommy!鈥?Kendra said to me, I tried to block that sentence out.

鈥淗olland鈥? I turned around, still holding my leg, I could feel the blood rushing out.

He wasn鈥檛 behind me.

鈥淗olland鈥? I had a scared voice on.

鈥淗olland, where are you?鈥?I turned around.

鈥淎hhh鈥? I saw Holland behind Kendra, Pixie, and Camille. He was holding a gigantic knife. He was running like he was going to miss a very important bus ride. Camille and Pixie were out of luck. They didn鈥檛 look in time and before they knew it, Camille and Pixie were on the floor, with blood dripping down there face. There hair was already falling out. Kendra was on the floor too, but she wasn鈥檛 hurt at all.

鈥淗olland!鈥?I slid over to him happily. My leg was still throbbing but I was just glad he saved me.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e a savior!鈥?he hugged me, then I put my head on his chest.

鈥淣o! You are!鈥?he said. I didn鈥檛 get it, but I really didn鈥檛 want to start an argument so I just smiled in agreement.

鈥淲hat happened to Kendra, you didn鈥檛 stab her did you?鈥?I asked me frantically.

鈥淣O!鈥?he said.

鈥淪he鈥檚 just a kid!鈥?he smiled.

鈥溾€漃ixie and Camille were just kids too!鈥?br> 鈥淵es, but they weren鈥檛 normal. Kendra was just pazesed鈥?

鈥淐amille was inside her body, making her do the stuff she was doing!鈥?

鈥淭hat鈥檚 why Kendra fell to the floor! Because it was really Camille鈥檚 soul inside her at that moment. She will be up and good in about 3, 2, 1!鈥?he counted down, hoping that Kendra鈥檚 eyes would open. And a few seconds after he said one, her eyes opened.

鈥淢ommy鈥? Kendra said in a sweet voice.

鈥淗unny!鈥?I screamed.

鈥淲hy are you bleeding?鈥?br> Then I remember about my leg.

鈥淵ou, You-鈥淚 decided not to tell her.

鈥淚 got hurt, in a car accident this morning鈥? I told her. There was another lie, but it was a white lie and it didn鈥檛 matter at the minute anyways.

鈥淲hy wasn鈥檛 I with you?鈥?she asked me. I didn鈥檛 know what to say except two words:

鈥淟ong Story鈥?br> 鈥淎nd who is this strange man?鈥?she asked. I heard Holland laugh, I giggled a bit too.

鈥淚鈥檓 Holland鈥? he explained to Kendra.

鈥淎nd you must be Kendra!鈥?He said to my baby.

鈥淵es, I am Kendra. How do you know Holland?鈥?She asked him. I smiled at looked at Holland as I rubbed his chest gently.

鈥淵our mother, she talks about you lots!鈥?he said looking at me with his British tone.

鈥淚n good ways?鈥?she said with a tiny, squeaky voice.

鈥淥h yeah!鈥?he said to her.

Kendra snuggled up to me.

鈥淓liza?鈥?he whispered in my left ear.

鈥淒o you want me to take you to the hospital?鈥?br> 鈥淚mmediately鈥?I laughed and looked at him with a huge smile.

Supposed to be a picture here !

The Hallway that this all happened in!

Chapter 3-

Once we were in the hospital and I was all stitched up, I was fine. Holland and Kendra had stayed with me a few days in the hospital and today was the day I was getting out. I was so excided until the doctor came in and said

鈥淪orry, you have to stay in for at least 2 more days!鈥?br> I looked at him like he was nuts.

鈥淲hat? No you must be looking at another Elizabeth鈥檚 paper!鈥?I told him. He shook his head.

鈥淣o, you鈥檙e the one with the stabbed leg right?鈥?he asked.

鈥淭high鈥? I corrected him.

鈥淵eah, Yeah, whatever!鈥?he said.

鈥淎nyways-鈥?br> 鈥淲ell let me just talk to Mr. Hernie privately!鈥?he said.

I think the doctor that Holland and I were married or something, even though we weren鈥檛.

I kept wondering if Holland and I would ever get married. I mean come on now, we narrate each others lives. As Holland walked at the door and slowly closed it, I looked at Kendra, she was falling asleep.

鈥淥h darling!鈥?I patted her on the head. Even though she didn鈥檛 remember anything, I still felt sorry for what she had gone through. Then suddenly I wondered if Holland had a dream about all of this happening. Like me getting wounded. He must have because how else did he know to get ready to stab Camille and Pixie. And he already said that he knew about Kendra meeting Camille and Pixie. I was really confused at the moment, but I didn鈥檛 want to think about it.

鈥淗olland!鈥?I said as a he walked back in with his hands in his pocket.

鈥淥kay, well the doc is not coming back in for right now, I need to talk to you鈥? he told me as I listened.

鈥淭he doctor said when she stabbed you she might have hurt a vain, and you just don鈥檛 feel the pain YET!鈥?he told me. I looked at him.

鈥淣o, I am never going to feel pain anymore; I am going to have a perfect life鈥?

鈥淭hat鈥檚 not what Mr. Fealix said鈥? Holland looked at me like my old father used to do.

鈥淲ho is that?鈥?I asked him.

鈥淵our doc鈥?

鈥淥h鈥? I sighed, then looked around. Kendra was still sleeping and I didn鈥檛 want to wake her up.

鈥淎re you leaving then?鈥?

鈥淣o, if I have really found the woman who narrates my life, there is no way I am leaving her at some unknown hospital!鈥?he said. When he said that, it sounded so sweet. His British accent and his blue eyes were darling.

鈥淎ww鈥? I said. He looked at me weird, but then smiled.

鈥淥kay so do you want me to wake your daughter up so I can tell her?鈥?he asked me. I shook my head.

鈥淥kay well I need some rest and you do too!鈥?he pulled the blanket more up on me then her pulled out his chair and made his little bed.

鈥淵up, I know鈥? I told him. I was happy at the moment. Even though I knew I had to stay in this hospital for at least two more days, I knew I would have Kendra and Holland, and at that moment they were the ones I loved most.

About 3 hours later, after everyone had finished sleeping, Holland went out to get us Taco Bell fast food. He had left about 15 minutes before Kendra woke up, and Kendra woke up about 30 minutes ago.

鈥淲here is he with the food?鈥?Kendra asked.

鈥淲here is Mr. Hernie?鈥?

鈥淚 don鈥檛 know baby!鈥?br> 鈥淲ell I am starving!鈥?she said to me. I looked at her and said

鈥淪o am I! Maybe he is getting warmer blankets for us! Maybe an electrical blanket鈥? I was just coming up with ideas on the spot, what else could I do at the moment?

鈥淚 want food instead鈥? she wined.

鈥淜endra just be happy!鈥?I told her.

鈥淚f mommy鈥檚 alright and all better in 2 days, will you clean up your act?鈥?

鈥淪ure mommy, anything for you鈥? she started being sweet again, and then I kissed her on the forehead.

鈥淢ommy! That鈥檚 embarrassing鈥? she looked at me with her dark green eyes and her cricked cute teeth were showing.

鈥淣o one is in here baby girl!鈥?br> Kendra laughed then before we knew it, about 5 minutes later the doctor walked in.

鈥淧hone call for Mr. Hernie!鈥?the woman said.

鈥淢r. Hernie left about an hour ago鈥? I told her.

鈥淢r. Hernie left about and hour ago Miss.鈥?The woman spoke to the phone.

鈥淢iss?鈥?I said quietly.

鈥淲hy would it be a woman?鈥?br> Then the woman handed the phone to me. She wants to talk to you. I looked at the phone in a delirious way.

鈥淢e?鈥?I pointed to myself.

鈥淵es, You!鈥?the woman doctor gave me the phone then walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

鈥淟et me talk!鈥?Kendra giggled and put her hand out for the phone.

鈥淣o Kendra!鈥?I said.

鈥淗ello鈥?

鈥淗ey, why have you been hanging out with my dad so much?鈥?it sounded like a teenage girl.

鈥淵our dad? Who is your dad hunny?鈥?I asked the girl.

鈥淗olland Hernie, Holland Howard Hernie鈥? she got specific.

She had a British accent too.

鈥淎re you his daughter?鈥?I asked her.

鈥淒uh! I live in England with him, and he was out in America looking for this girl in his dreams!鈥?she sounded so mixed up. I was too so it was okay.

鈥淗ow old are you sweetie?鈥?

鈥?5, soon to be 16 and driving!鈥?she sounded excited.

鈥淎nd how old are you?鈥?she asked me.

鈥?7鈥?

Then she paused.

鈥淥h, this girl sounded much older in his dreams like about 35 or 36ish鈥? she said to me. I laughed.

鈥淎re you sure you鈥檙e her?鈥?br> 鈥淵es, we are both sure鈥?br> 鈥淗ow did you find out we were all at the hospital?鈥?br> 鈥淲ell the last time I talked to my dad was about 3 days ago, and he told me that he found you and all that, then he said where you lived and where he was going to be staying鈥? she explained.

鈥淎nd since he hadn鈥檛 called me in a while, I thought one of you was hurt, so I looked up the nearest hospital in your guys鈥?area. And then I suddenly found you!鈥?she said. Her British accent was coming along, it was so cute when teenagers talked in British accent, and I thought it was pretty neat.

鈥淪mart, right?鈥?I asked her.

鈥淲ickedly!鈥?she loudly spoke.

Chapter 4-

So as we talked she asked about her father. I told her where he went last and that he hasn鈥檛 came back and she sounded very confused because she said he was always on time, never late.

Then she told me about her life and how it was going exceedingly well, and how she loved every minute of her time being alive. She cherished what she had with her dad, and she loved him very much. She also told me her name, which was Nicolette, but everyone calls her Nicole for short. And now it was my turn to tell her about me.

鈥淲ell I am 27, like I said and have a 6 year old daughter named Kendra鈥? Kendra smiled when I told Nicole.

鈥淎ww鈥? Nicolette said.

鈥淚 love children!鈥?

鈥淐ool and I have lived in a lot of places also, I have been looking for your father too, and now I have found him鈥?

鈥淥h that鈥檚 wicked鈥? she said. I laughed. I had never heard anyone use that word so much in one day.

鈥淪o do you think you guys are going to get married?鈥?she asked me, and that was the question I had been asking myself for the past couple days.

鈥淵eah, I don鈥檛 know yet Nicole. That would be very fast for me at least, I know we are good friends now though!鈥?br> 鈥淥h鈥? Nicole sounded sad when she said that.

鈥淵ou sound very nice鈥? she said.

鈥淥h, well you do also鈥? I told her.

鈥淪o does your daughter!鈥?I smiled. Kendra heard Nicole say that.

鈥淚 know I am awesome!鈥?Kendra said quietly. I laughed.

鈥淥kay well I better jet鈥? Nicole said.

鈥淏ut I will talk to you later Miss. Renner!鈥?br> 鈥淵ou can call me Eliza!鈥?I told her.

鈥淥kay! Bye now!鈥?br> 鈥淏ye鈥? As I pushed the end button, I had so many questions to ask Holland. Then I dialed the numbers that I thought of on the phone.

818-290-9923. That was Holland鈥檚 cell phone number. I remember him giving it to me, and me not writing it down but just remembering it by heart.

How is this book i am writing? Plz tell me!?

I read a good portion of this, but not all. It seems to me that you are writing about some things you don't know, like four-year old girls (any children around that age), and motels, and perhaps time.

Examples: children that age aren't 'lazy' or 'lying around a lot.' Not at all. Also, there is no way a four-year old could have been in all those different places and even remember them enough for you to write something like 'she didn't want to live somewhere for a whole year.' Kendra would barely know what a whole year feels like.

Also: there are lots of extra 'y' s on words (especially the word 'the'), and you first refer to Eliza's eyebrows as raising 'my single eyebrow'... (see how that sounds?)

And when you mention Kendra's new friend as having something to do with killing, I thought Kendra's mother killed her, not the conclusion your character makes.

And if a motel room is on the third floor, it will not have a number that starts with '1,' nor have I ever heard of any motel or hotel door having a 'cat door' in it. And why does this one?

RE: dreams, staying awake, people to search for or not... The part about each person dreaming the other's life has been almost done in, in movies at least, most recently by one which stars Emma Thompson and Will Farrell, though she is a writer writing his life.

Suggest you stick with things you know, at least in details.

Keep trying... keep practicing, and keep reading.

How is this book i am writing? Plz tell me!?

Sorry. I couldn't get through half the first chapter. You're about 14, right? Maybe I'm just too old to appreciate it...

How is this book i am writing? Plz tell me!?

Wow, you have some great, creative ideas in this piece!

I think it's interesting that they dream about each other's lives,etc. And you were good with the creepy factor of the little girl.

There are a few things though, that could be improved on. like, at the very beginning, I would like them to have a better way to meet.

Also, just add a few more details about the setting throughout, so it feels more real. (And one more thing--a 4 year old probably wouldnt be left home all alone while her mom goes shopping)

But you have a good start, and I hope you keep writing!!

How is this book i am writing? Plz tell me!?

Wow that was the best stroy ever! TThanks for wiriting your book. That is very good! Oh, and did you like my book that i worte to you?

How is this book i am writing? Plz tell me!?

Well! You do have a knack for writing conversation. That's what people enjoy a whole lot and it is such a great story. I read a lot of books in a lot of categories and have started my own book. Haven't worked on it in some time though.

For a first draft, this is marvelous. I can surmise where this story is going, but I may be wrong.

Do you know where the story is going, how you want to end the book. What you want the reader to experience. It sounds like a thriller. It thrilled me, can't wait to read the rest.