Thursday, October 8, 2009

What would you do if you had a mum like this?

I am a very ambitious and mature 22 yr old mum of 2, a preschool teacher -I like kids LOL- currently starting a business with my partner.



I want to provide for my girls, teach them morals and respect. My mum on the other hand is completly the opposite!



I want to know if you had a mum like mine would you walk away or keep trying to 'mother' her?



She is 43, but acts like a 16 yr old! my baby brother 5 and sister 3 have no stability, and are aggresive -physically- pretty much brats(not their fault) she starts drinking at 1pm every day, then allows the kids to leave the house to 'visit' the neighbours so she can 'recover' she knows that their father is abusive 9thats why she left him!) but sends the kids to him and his GF ever fortnight so she can 'get them out of her hair' she wants to now sell the house my dad left her in the divorce and buy another with a man she has known for 6 weeks! she does not want to work-never has- to pay her huge debts/bills. what do I do? I'm loosing respect!



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

Oh how your story is just like mine.However I have no younger brothers or sisters that she has to care for.She has don't lots and lots of childish things and has always made them my fault.Her drinking is always some Else fault and so on and so on.I would say the answer to your question is no you can't have a relationship with her if you want to stay out of the crazy house.I am a 28 yr old married mother of 2 myself and she has tried everything in her evil power to make my marriage fail and turn my kids against me.I mean I guess you could have a relationship with her but not a healthy one so to say.It took me a long time to say enough is enough and to really see that she is "sick" but doesn't want any help.I now have not talked to her in 6mo and as sad as it sounds I am so much happier now that she is no longer a part of my life.A big wt has been lifted off my chest.Now out to your helpless brother and sister.I would call child welfare on her and have them taken away from her.You know what she is doing and has done to you save them from the same crap.They deserve better then that.Even if you can't take them the state will find them a good family and maybe even find someone to take them both.Maybe then she will open her eyes and get the help she so badly needs.I will keep your family in my prayers.Good Luck and hope this helped some.Also email me anytime if you would like.



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

Maybe talk to her and seeing how you love kids so much, maybe she will let you take them til she gets her life on track



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

I would have left her.



because it would spoile the future or your brother n sister, and also may be of your kids.



But somewhere in my heart i would know its not right. (confused!)



But before doing that give a try to convince her to not to do so.



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

There is a difference between unconditional love and unconditional relationships. What I did not see in your question and story was that she was asking anything of you, except the patience she is not actually asking for but just requiring by being who she is. As much as you may dislike hearing it, until her self-defeating behavior causes her to impose on you in some practical or tangible manner, you don't have much of a say so in the situation. The fact is, as a child rather than parent, you don't even get the satisfaction of completely speaking your mind the way a parent would almost certainly do if the roles were reversed.



If you respect yourself, remember she has the potential for raising children such as you are, so you can respect her for that much even if for no more. I completely disapproved of my parents for a long time, but they somehow managed to raise a son who feels qualified to see all their flaws. Chalk at least one virtue up on that account and that can open you up to finding others -- it did me.



Good luck and best regards



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

well i would stick around if not for you siblings, was she always like this?



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

live the way your living now ,your doing very well . remember your mom is your mom,try to help her,if she drinks like you say she does, do some perspective taking to see why.she needs your help and is hurting.



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

what does "I like kids LOL" mean...are you being sarcastic??? LOL?? any hoo...what ever happened to families sticking together? if you are really worried about your baby siblings, take them whenever they are supposed to have parental visitation. perhaps you could try to help your mother, instead of LOSING RESPECT...? it is so easy to judge and turn away from someone in need. it takes much more time and effort to stop and "grab something by the horns".



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

I don't mean to sound harsh...and I'm not coming from a "bitter" place. But there came a time in myy life where I HAD to make the decision to distance myself and my boys from her because I surely wouldn't stand for her - in all those sneaky ways - to have ANY influence on my boys. It's hard,becaue she's my mother,but once you BECOME a mother,your first priority in life is protecting THEM! Be good to yourself and your children.



What would you do if you had a mum like this?

Ignore that incorrigible old girl, move to another town and live your life there without anyone troubling and bothering you.

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