How should I react?

My husband and I have been married for two years and have a baby son, he was previously married, from that marriage he's got kids. When we were dating he told me that he didn楹搕 have to give money for the kids because his ex wife was in a good economical situation and his sister is actually a self millionaire and if they need something she was gonna take care of it, because by the time he was broke (he is still broke), he had tell me many times that he feels bad that he can楹搕 give money to his kids, but I tell him they are ok they need their father not money, we have gone to very difficult situations this two years where we haven楹搕 had money to pay the rent or to pay the bills, today I discover that he has been sending money to his kids, I understand that he wants to send them something because they are his kids; but we don楹搕 have money, I haven楹搕 have a hair cut in two years because he saids there no money, I haven楹搕 gonne to the doctor since I gave birth, how should I react to this?

How should I react?

For starters, don't overreact, and focus on what can be done, not what has been done. I think the biggest issue with you is that you feel betrayed by your husband's lack of honesty and feel he has been disloyal. It could be that he has to send money and has been court ordered and has not wanted to burden you or argue about it. Tell him, calmly but firmly, that you need him to be completely open and honest from this point on. You are a team and you want to be a part of the decision making process. Set aside some specific time to discuss making a budget, or a financial overview of the situation as it stands, and what your possibilities are. Write down all your expenses vesus income and perhaps check with your local County Social Services to see if you might qualify for any grants, such as help with electricity, or child care allotments, etc. Almost every County offers some type of free or sliding scale medical care or clinic, offering free birth control services along with women's and childrens' health care. There are also free local community credit seminars that will help guide you in a planning budget and help you with a plan for credit card debt. Beauty Schools cut hair very in-expensively, and sometimes for free. Check your local colleges and universitites for job openings. Many schools offer free tutution in related classes that can advance your postion, or discounted classes on another academic choice, if you are an employee of any kind in the school's system. There are also many companies that offer to pay for further schooling if you want to advance in their company, even if you start at an enty level position. For example, I have a friend who started in the mail room at a medical products company and she now has a 4 year degree, all paid for by her company and makes a great income. In fact, it is so great, her husband has left his job to stay at home until their two young children enter school. So how should you take it, as a wake up call that something has to change. Since you seem handy with a computer, put the time into using the net to find the resources that are just waiting for you to help you change your life from a grind to great. Good Luck.

How should I react?

Get another job?

How should I react?

you guys need to get better jobs...you have to take of your kid and his kids too...he helped have them...it's not his sister's duty to take care of them....maybe she can give you guys a personal loan to help you out some...if she'll help them, she should help you...he shouldn't lie to you about it though...he is your partner in life and needs to be straightforward with you in ALL situations

How should I react?

Marriage is based on trust. Ask him why didn't he tell you this about this ,in the first place . Make it clear to him that if his ex-wife can afford to keep the children, he must not to send them money, afterall he has a kid and a wife to feed. Just make him realize he shuld spend this money on you people. May God help you.

How should I react?

is a very very hard position because what I think is happen is he's feeling a moral obligation and he's following his feelings. Also he didn't tell you the true because he don't want to have problems with you but he have obligations with his kids. You have to accept what he's doing and also you have to put pressure on him to do better effort to get more money to keep care on you and your future baby..

How should I react?

I would tell him that you understand why he wants to give them money, but he knows they are well off, and his current child and wife need the support alot more. Try to make him see that giving his other children money is hurting the well being of you and your son.

How should I react?

Sit down with him, and without accusing, tell him what you found out and say you would like to get more involved with how money is handled in the home, so you're not caught short. Explain that if you don't know money's going out, it could get spent twice and cost you more money in bounced checks and fees--money you don't have.

This is an opportunity for something good to happen--couples who are honest with each other about money and understand the realities of it in their lives do much better, in the long run, than those who don't. You sound like a very understanding person--your husband has already been dealing with guilt for not providing for the kids from his first marriage--now he has saddled himself with more by doing this. Reassure him that you can find a way to deal with it together, because you can. Beat the problem to death with the commitment, not the other way around.

How should I react?

First of all sit him down and talk openly about this! by law he has to send his kids some money no matter what kind of income he has but only a % of it!Ya'll should look at better incomes or a budget i know that easier said than done i am a single mom of 4 barley making it! Where there is a will there is way! does he support the child ya'll have? If not then you have a problem! I do with out alot just so my kids have stuff that a sacrifice us parents make!

How should I react?

Thirty three years of marriage have taught me one thing, actually two.

1- good communication is key to the relationship

2- honesty is the lock.

How should I react?

He needs to provide for both his old family and his new. I am sure the amount of money he gives his kids don't buy much. He had those children and must provide something for them. You may have to live poor for awhile. BUT the fact that he was sending them money behind your back was wrong! He also needs to keep a roof over your head and food in your home. Bills should come first. I would talk to him and explain how you understand that he wants to help his other children but lying is unacceptable. Of course you both need jobs, but you know that.